The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!! NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”
I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS
HES BREAD JIM
(Source: secretsbest, via chupachurros)
So my driving instructor texted me, and I was walking so I just typed ‘Ok’ and hit send and then I looked at it and was like WHAT
But as it turns out, my friends are entirely responsible for turning ‘Ok’ into a shortcut.
but what did your driving instructor say
WHAT DID HE SAY
THIS IS NOT A FUN CLIFFHANGER
No you guys really I need this shirt for my girls
my dad would never wear this, per say, but this sums up what a dad thinks about anyone dating his daughter lol but the reason im rebageling is because there was a man who came into the store last week with a shirt that said DADD - dads against daughters dating LOL it just reminded me of that.
(Source: rob-nike, via prinnyex)